Beelzebub's Bourbon Burpees
We get it. You go to the gym for 3 hours a day so you can look down and see 6-12 abs. If you commit to doing an insane amount of burpees, you can bet you'll do every last one of them. That (and these black frames glasses with bourbon-colored lenses) is what it takes if you wanna be the best. Introducing Beezlebub's Bourbon Burpees (because even the Rx squad needs a drink sometimes).
That Orange Crush Rush
Mother nature's favorite combination of two colors is orange and blue. It's a fact. Just look at the Rocky Mountains when the sun is setting, the fiery orange star fading up into blue dusk. It's a hot damn spectacle. A glorious sight, however, that narrowly beats someone donning these BFGs we call That Orange Crush Rush with blue lenses and orange frames. If that someone happens to be a certain Broncos outside linebacker partial to farming, well then, hot damn spectacle be damned.
Mint Julep Electroshocks
Unfollow that Instagram famous fitness star who keeps telling you to “stretch” and “eat healthy” and start taking notes. We’ve got the workout rehab plan that’ll get you those sweet sweet gainz. The plan is simple, slam two mint juleps, throw on these green and teal sunnies, and ride the lighting.
A larger frame size with more lens coverage for all you beasts with gargantuan craniums the size of sputnik.
Lighter and more durable frame material that eliminates bouncing even with a bigger frame.
Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.
Mirrored lenses to obscure the sinister look in your eyes without losing the ability to clearly see obstacles in bright light.
100% Guarantee against Demogorgon attacks. *Guarantee not applicable for any gainz taking place in the Upside Down.
